sad

Fall to Freedom


Date of Dream:  Mar/19/11
I was standing by the balcony looking out. We must have been at least 25 stories high.
I had the urge to jump out but my bro stopped me.
He pleaded, "Don't go again. Please, no!"
I assured him, "I won't be gone long, silly. It's just a dream. I'm always with you. You know that."
Bro said under his breath, "But what if you don't come back?"
I stood on the rail my arms stretched out and ready to jump, "What are you talking about? You're always in my dreams. I love you!"
I jumped out. The wind whipped through my hair violently. The wind causing my eyes to tear up that I had to close them. The rush of excitment filled my very veins. I feel alive. I feel free. Oh, how I love lucid dreaming.
Once I landed, I gathered enough "energy" to go back up to the balcony and jump off again. And again. And again. This wonderful feeling will never get old.


sad

Snuffed Out Candles


Date of Dream:  Mar/19/11
I was standing in a dark unknown room with three other people standing before a cake with a handful of lit candles. The room was chilly, I turned to look to find the balcony door open. The wind blew the drapes apart and snuffed out the candles.
My bro (age 8) cried, "I'm scared"
I sat down beside him and picked him up to sit on my lap, "Don't worry. Everything is okay. I'm here. There's nothing to be afraid of."
Bro replied, "Why is it so dark in here?"
I said, "The candles blew out, sweety. It's okay. I'm here now."
 

sad

Buried in Debt


Date of Dream: Mar/21/11
I was drawing a picture from this painting I have displayed in my front bedroom window of my current apartment. It was a little boy, holding a portrait of his family, behind the family was an open pasture with two huge green hills.
<change of scene> 
I was in my old room at my parents place cleaning up. I had to get rid of some things in my desk that I no longer needed. My room was a mess and I had to re-organize it. My bro (age 8) came to me with his bank statement, he saved up $8000. I was a bit amazed that he didn't spend his money and wondered where he got this but dismissed it from my mind. I smiled at him and told him he's doing a good job in saving and told him to go out and play as I was really busy cleaning. I didn't want to be disturbed.

Few hours later (or so it seemed) I over heard my dad talking to him in his room, "Son, give me the money that you have in your bank. I'll just borrow some."
Bro asked, "Borrow? How much?"
Dad replied, "How much do you have?"
Bro said hesitantly, "Well....$20,000"
Dad urged, "Give that to me. Your Aunt and I need this money."
I was so upset I walked right in and said, "Look. That's HIS money. He needs it for University and to pay off his future student loans. Leave his money alone and get your own!"
My bro took this chance and walked to my side. I put my right hand on his right shoulder protectively and led him to my room.
I said to him, "This is your money and only YOU can decide what to do with it. Don't let anyone else tell you what to do with your money. Do you understand? You need this for school. Stay in school. School is important. You're a very good boy. One day you'll get a fabulous job. Keep this money safe. Do you understand? Safe."
 
Later in the evening I bumped into my dad alone in the kitchen.
I asked him, "What do you need the money for?"
Dad said, "I need it to bury my dad."
I replied with annoyance, "Well your dad left a will to your two sisters. Ask THEM for money. Plus, they both work don't they? He's still a kid. How could you do that to him? Ask your lazy sisters for the money and leave him out of this!"
Dad agreed, "Yeah, I guess I'll ask them."

~I should have known this was a dream. My dad is not usually this calm.~
 

sad

Staring Contest


Date of Dream:  Mar/04/11
I was in my apartment watching some YouTube videos when I rec'd a text from my BF. My BF just arrived home from San Fran and wanted me to drop by his place. I quickly bussed over and realized he didn't even finish unpacking when he sent me the message. His two suitcases were still sitting by the door, untouched. I ran over to him by the couch and gave him a huge hug. He seemed as excited to see me as I was, I missed him so much. I sat next to him and listened to his many exciting experiences in San Fran.  His words flew by my ears as I gazed at his face, I was too distracted. Thoughts about how lucky I was to have met him, how well he treats me and if I make him happy. He began to smile and matched my gaze. We sat there for a long time, just staring into each other's eyes. I am so lucky. I am so happy.
Do I make him happy too? Am I enough?

sad

Kitty's Eternal Sleep


Date of Dream:  Mar/04/11
I was pulling a wagon with my little bro and sis around the neighbourhood, it was late afternoon. We walked into an empty house, it was fairly big inside and saw an abandoned white kitten. I picked it up and placed him into my wagon, I was going to bring him home and feed it. While walking around upstairs looking for useful items to bring home I found a few more abandoned kittens and also placed them into my wagon. These poor kittens, no one to look after them. They look so hungry, their white fur dirty and matted from lack of attention. By the time I reached downstairs to exit the front doors my entire wagon was full of kittens, some were newborns the rest were fluffy and cute. I was about to leave the house when I realized, looking back at the wagon, the kittens were dead. All of them. My bro and sis were no where in sight. I had no idea when they left or where they are. No idea how and why the kittens were dead. I knelt down and held one of the kittens in my hands.
 

sad

Coco-Nutty Dream


Date of Dream: Feb/20/11
I was in the mall shopping when I realized I was late for a staff meeting. I had gotten my days mixed up. I scrambled from place to place trying to find an exit. I saw a door and went through it, it lead me to the building that I needed to be in. Since this building didn't have an elevator I had to walk up the stairs. My legs got very sore by the time I reached my designated floor. I opened the door to the meeting room. There was a long oval shaped table surrounded by people with two empty seats, my seat and that of the speaker. Everyone turned their heads towards me in disappointment that I interrupted the meeting. I apologized and scooted to my seat with a pen and paper ready to take notes. I couldn't understand what the speaker was saying while he was pointing at the projected screen. It was as if he was speaking in a different language. Trying to calm myself I looked out the window then thought to myself, "How did I get here?" I then realized how impossible it was that the mall was coincidentally attached to the building that I was expected to be at. Most importantly, I've never been in this building before or seen these people before. I connected them together, this is a dream! I walked up the window and looked down below to the moving cars and buildings that surrounded the streets. I've never been in this neighbourhood before either, it's definitely a dream.
The speaker cleared his through, "Is there anything you'd like to share?"
I turned my attention to him, "No. Not at all."
Speaker said, "First you come in late, and now you interrupt my meeting. Would you mind sitting back down so I can finish up?"
I said, "No, I don't think so."
Speaker says surprised, "Excuse me?"
I said, "No. It's not important. This is a dream."
Speaker a bit more annoyed, "Excuse me?!"
Without taking my eyes off him I opened the window. A gust of wind blew the papers off the desk, the staff members scrambled from their seats to gather the papers together.
The speaker walked up to me, "Is everything okay? What is wrong?"
I said calmly, "Oh, nothing is wrong. This is a dream."
The speaker more upset then before says, "How is this a dream?"
I got on top of the windowsill and said, "Because only dreamers can do this" and I jumped out of the window with my arms spread out. The speaker freaked out and tried to grab my ankle but missed.
On my way down I thought, "It has been a long time. What shall I do? I know, experimenting time! I should try to change day to night!!"
I closed my eyes during my exciting fall and concentrated on a nightly setting. The red colour I see through my closed eyes from the sun started to get dimmer and dimmer until it went all black. I opened my eyes. I was no longer falling off a building but standing on top of a church. I looked around me, there were trees everywhere with a sidewalk leading from the church to a park. I jumped down and saw my BF sitting by the church steps with his brows close together from deep thought.
I walked up to him, "OMG! What are YOU doing here?!"
He looked up at me, "What do you mean? I'm thinking."
I laughed, "In the middle of the night? In front of the church steps??"
I sat down beside him, "So what were you thinking about?"
He was deeply troubled indeed, "Well, there's this company that wants to buy my product. Once I sell it I won't be the sole owner anymore. I won't have anything to do with it. If I sell it to them, I'll be set for life. But if I don't sell it I might become a billionaire myself."
I asked curiously, "So what were you planning then?"
He said, "I really don't know. This product is mine and I don't want to sell it. But, if I sell it, I'd get a lot of money."
I asked, "If you sell it, it won't be yours anymore?"
He said, "No. They're planning to change the product into something entirely different."
He went on about how the product won't have his original idea anymore, that it would be completely different. The change won't reflect his personality or character. That he worked so hard on this and don't want his dream product to be destroyed or tainted.
While he was talking I laid my head on his shoulder and looked up into the night sky. There were clusters of stars every where. A set of unique clusters were in a shape of a tornado, too many stars in one area...impossible. I realized again I was in a dream.
Pointing upwards, I interrupted my BF and told him to look up at the sky.
He said in frustration, "Aren't you listening?"
I replied, "Just hold on a second. Look up. There's so many stars!"
He looked and said, "So? They were always there."
I insisted, "No! Look closely. There's too many in one area. It's not normal. Look at that one that looks like a tornado. Just too many! Don't you understand? We're in a dream!"
I tried to convince him a few times. I finally grabbed his hand and lead him down the sidewalk. We went up to a tree and I told him that I would prove it to him by transforming this tree. We closed our eyes and I concentrated on palm trees. I opened my eyes and to my amazement, it worked! A palm tree, right in front of us!
My BF said, "What kind of palm tree doesn't have coconuts?"
I looked disappointed, "Oh....yeah... Well, that sucks!!"

sad

Save the Fragile Child


Date of Dream - Feb/16/11
My little bro, a handful of strangers and I were in an old run-down building scavenging for food. We were travelling with the rest but somehow got lost and ended up in a very secluded area. In the building I managed to find some left over food such as ribs and fruits. How they got there, I had no idea. I didn't care. We were all hungry. Everyone was grabbing what they could. All fighting for some food, possibly our last meal. I grabbed a handful of the ribs and hid them between my two hands, secretly feeding my brother as I ate some myself. There weren't much food to begin with so I gave the majority to my brother, his little body must stay strong through this. We must survive. I took my bro's hand and walked around the area in search of others who may be able to help us. During our search a group of rogue teenagers were following us. I held my brother close, it seems they wanted something from us. Money, food, jewelry. I wasn't going to give them up. I grabbed my bro and ran. An old library was up ahead, I told my bro to squeeze through the fences and hide within the building. I managed to climb up the fence and onto the roof. Down below, the teenagers were taunting us and throwing rocks. They wouldn't leave us alone. I was worried for my bro.

sad

Constant Contamination


Date of Dream: Feb/15/11
In my parent's living room I was going through my personal items. I came across a broken wooden jewelry box and started to work on it. Finally finished I proudly showed it to my mom who picked it up carefully and said I've done a wonderful job putting it back together.
I went to the kitchen to grab a bite when I heard my parents arguing. I rushed to the living room to see the wooden box crushed into pieces. My hard work, gone to waste.
My (step) dad sitting in the corner fixing the couch.
I stormed towards his direction, "What did you do that for? Why did you break it? Why are you like this? What is wrong with you? What is WRONG with YOU?"
He replied, "You should have left when your (biological) dad came to visit. You should have moved out."
I screamed back, "I moved out two years ago! What more do you want from me? I was still a dependent then."
He hollered, "You were eighteen! You should have moved out. I don't want you here!!"
Angrily, I snapped, "I wasn't stable then! I would have moved out if I could! I wish you were dead! Things would have been so much better without you!"
He walked towards the basement and headed downstairs. I was about to kick him down the stairs but hesitated and missed his back.
He turned around, "Oh, you're cruel."
I said, "YOU'RE cruel. You're the one that made me this way. Because of you I am hollow inside. Because of you I see everyone differently. Can't wait until the day you die. If I didn't have a conscience you would have been dead a long time ago."
I sat in the kitchen with my BF and started to eat. My mom came to join us. My dad came back up and said mockingly, "What makes you think your 'fantastic' BF isn't acting? That he wouldn't turn out just like me?"
My head bobbed up from my plate and I stared at him in shock. I don't think my BF is that type of person. He can't be. He just can't.
<dream fast forwarded, (step) dad finally died of an illness>
I stood before his gravestone alone, holding a single rose and said softly, "I would say 'God bless your soul' but you had none to begin with. I've always hated you. I still hate you. I will continue to hate you. You're death is like a heavy rock that has finally lifted off my heart. Blood and air can finally travel through my heart once more. I can breathe again."
I knelt down and shoved the single stemmed rose into the soft gravel. I reached inside the rose bud and opened it, taking out the middle, leaving the outside pedals still attached to the stem.
With the insides within my palm, I crushed it and threw it at his gravestone.
Before I walked away I glared at the gravestone and said through crying tears, "This is what you made me feel throughout all these years. Hollow. Empty. Alone. Abandoned. Now, you will feel this pain for the rest of eternity in Hell. You will never receive my forgiveness. Even in death I will wish this pain upon you. Good riddance, (his full name)."
sad

Hide and Seek


Date of Dream - Feb/04/11
I was in my old room (parent's place) and wanted to close the blinds as it was too bright outside. As I went to close the blinds I looked out the window. The trees, streets, house and sky looked as if it were a painting. The painting was so realistic I was amazed of the detail. I instantly realized it was a dream. While looking out the window, I saw a man standing there with his back towards me. I climbed out the window to talk to him. As usual, he had an impossible shadow that covered his entire face.  I wanted to be his friend but he told me to find someone else. Hurt, I walked away. He ran towards me and said he was just joking and apologized. We walked together towards the commotion we were hearing. There were two modern tribes fighting over food. One leader made an insult to the other and an argument started. This seemed familiar. This was a recurring dream I had years ago. In my previous dream the leader of the first tribe slit the throat of the other and a war started. The opposing team had won by successfully killing all members of the other tribe. I whispered to one of the tribe members about what is expected to happen, her eyes grew and said I was an oracle. I didn't tell her this was my dream.  Before she could relay the information a battle erupted. This time, it was different - no slitting of the throat. I must have changed the outcome from my warning.
Knowing what may come next, I dragged my new friend and ran away.
<scene changed>
We made it inside a mall and hid inside a closet full of clothes. One of the tribe members of the opposing team discovered our hiding place. Before she could do anything I grabbed the collar of her shirt and yanked her towards me while I placed both my feet on her hips and tossed her above my body. She went flying head first into the wall. Before she could get up I grabbed her hair and slammed her head on the floor repeatedly until she passed out. I grabbed my friend and ran down the escalators.

sad

Headless Trauma

Date of Dream: Jan/29/11

I was sleeping in my bed. My radio alarm went off and was tuned to Hot 103, a commercial was playing. I tried to get up but couldn't move my body. I couldn't even open my eyes. Then I heard voices in my room. Who's in my apartment?
I felt my bed move. Someone was climbing onto my bed towards me. My eyes finally flicked open. A headless naked female body was at the foot of my bed. A formation of a faceless "head" above her neck formed but kept on popping as it stretched its' limits. They popped like gigantic zits. Her body convulsed as she slowly inched towards me. Her shaking arms reaching towards me, each finger pointing at an impossible angle.
I propped myself up with my elbows and scanned my room.
There were more headless naked men and women walking around. Each had faceless heads popping while they 'felt' their way around with their crooked fingers.
The one on my bed grabbed my neck and I woke up.